Oliver's Sleeping Hollow

I leave for Auckland tomorrow at 1 p.m. That means being at Toronto Airport at 10:00, which means leaving here around 8:00, which means getting up...at an ungodly hour for a day I don't have to go into work.

I'll pick up my woman in NZ, and the next day fly to Sydney. Train across the Outback for 3 days, then about a week in Perth visiting her sister and one of her brothers. Then flying to London via Singapore, and about another week visiting another of her brothers. Then home.

Looking at my itinerary this week, two things have struck me.

1) In the next 18 days I'll spend over two of them (49 hours) in the air. And that's not counting Customs or waiting in airports.

2) This world is not friendly to smokers, and so I shall suffer. Toronto to San Francisco, wait in airport 3 hours, fly 5.5 hours, wait 1.5 hours in Customs...10 hours without a cigarette. San Francisco to Auckland, wait in airport 3 hours, fly 14 hours, wait 1.5 hours in Customs...18.5 hours without a cigarette. Perth to London will be the worst. With a one hour layover in Singapore there won't be any time for a smoke, so I'll be doing pretty much a full day without one. Oh Hell.

I have nicotine gum. Pray for me. 8^P

I had a very restless sleep last night. Partially all the things I still have to do (after helping Heather move into Hamilton today, yay she's back!), and partially this is it. My bachelor days are over, a new life begins for both her and I. I'm happy and apprehensive. In my dreams last night I was going to the cottage (or something) with my second last Ex...the one I'd been with for 7 years. I was so livid with her not only was I past speaking to her, I was definitely sure things were over between us. I'm sure the sub-conscious was trying to process living with someone, and committing utterly. Hell of a lot easier to be in a relationship when all you can do is e-mail, MSN, or phone for 5/6s of it. Ah well, to quote Lou Reed, "Babe, it's the beginning of a great adventure".

And to amuse you while I'm gone, any fan of mini golf (mini putt in the U.S.) will enjoy this.

http://www.youporn.com/watch/1328

Meth head across the street had a visitor tonight.

When I went out for a smoke he was on the couch, and she was in Reverse Cowboy. She then turned around and straddled him. She then returned to Reverse Cowboy.

Then they got up and he had her lean over the table, entering her from behind. She then knelt down in front of him.

They then got in front of the window and he entered her doggie, standing, while she braced herself on the couch.

I got a bit bored, and went inside, and they continued for another few minutes, and then returned to Reverse Cowboy on the couch.

Can’t say I was turned on, but it was a good show, boy has stamina, at least 20 minutes worth.

A co-worker of mine this morning expressed her horror with China. Seems they have 50 000 stray dogs in Beijing that need to be removed, and they are rounding them up and killing them by clubbing them over the head.

Which led me to reflect on the number of political and religious prisoners that China has, their propensity for executing them, and their poor all around human rights record.

Torture a human being and oh, that’s terrible. Torture a dog and the outraged squeals never end.

It reminded me of the Halifax SPCA last summer. They charged a homeless man with cruelty to his dog. The dog had no handy supply of fresh water, no readily available supply of food, and no shelter…it lacked everything the man did. But they were only concerned with the animal’s welfare, not the man’s.

What a strange world we live in.

Amy Winehouse was reported as going into rehab. Sadly she just went into hospital for overindulgence.

Yes, after a 15 year hiatus, the Rhino Party is back. For those who have never heard of it, it's the one saving grace in Canadian politics.

Saw The Simpsons Movie tonight (German pirate version). Best line was from Homer: "Why does everything I whip leave me?!?"

Which is probably a good thing.

http://www.youporn.com/watch/1886

CBC Radio is reporting that when asked if he'd spoken French with President Sarkozy, Bush replied, "I can barely speak English."

A question for my American readers...how do you put up with the continual embarrassment of not only having such a man in the White House, but having re-elected him?

I think I'm drifting towards depression.

Part of it is that I have no one to talk to. My friend Brian does 60 hour weeks as a cabbie, and while he has plenty of downtime in the taxi he's made it clear he doesn't want incoming calls on his cell, as I seem to always choose times when he's on the way to a fare, or driving one.

Mike moved out of town, and I'll see him once every couple of months for a few hours, but it needs to be arranged a week in advance.

Heather is available by phone, but phone doesn't always do it. I miss the nights we spent talking for hours on our wall.

Part of it is that my bachelorhood is soon to come to an end. In 6 weeks someone will be living with me, and I'm well aware that being single and on my own for 20 years hasn't really prepared me for this.

A lot of it has to do with sex. In my ideal world we'll be exploring D/s at a minimum, possibly M/s, with a lot of pain involved. Two LJs set up to document it, with my kinkster friends (on and offline) linked to them. Regular visits to local BDSM community events, if only to observe. Clear sailing with roles strictly defined.

Realistically, I think I'll be smothered in vanilla boredom.

Sex is only one aspect, of course. I know I'll be spending a lot of time, effort, and money to make sure she is comfortable. She's giving up her whole world to make this work.

We're both stubborn individuals, and this will be both an advantage and a disadvantage. She has an extra fear of abandonment, of "being kicked to the curb". She's in luck, I've never ended a relationship, always had it ended from the other side, but it's not enough to reassure her.

So, with no one to talk to, I just run things internally again and again, which leads to no new answers, and just a lot of worry. I'd very much like to follow Dan Savage's advice, since he ripped me a new asshole.

Seattle is such a mellow city.

I usually hate "Just for Laughs Gags".

Produced in Montreal they are one part Mr. Bean (no spoken words, just soundtrack), one part Punked (non-celebrities, people off the street, being put in awkward situations), and one part Candid Camera (the poor people are let in on the joke at the end, and the cameras are pointed out).

One segment, randomly surfed right now, was hilarious. Two armoured car guards pick up some cash trays from a convenience/grocery store, and walk out. The clerk "realizes" one full tray was forgotten, so he "panics", and thrusts the tray at an unsuspecting customer, obviously saying he can't leave the counter, and could they take this to a guard. All either begin to do so or freeze, and one of the guards re-enters the store. He sees the person (usually a woman) with the tray, and assumes a pose of "robbery in progress". The clerk, "catching on fast", raises his arms so that he won't get in trouble for passing the tray. At this point the victim realizes what it looks like, and begins to freak. The guard gets on his radio (obviously to alert the police). More panic from the victim, and then they're let in on the joke.

Pretty much the first song I ever picked up on.

Outside having a smoke when the cute 20 something (25? 26?) who lives above comes down the stairs. I always manage to startle her, as she doesn't expect someone to be standing there.

After the usual "Oh!" she passes by and we chat in a friendly way. After dropping her recycling off she comes up, and we chat for a minute or two. Pretty young lady. She wraps things up, turns, and says, "Have a good night, sir". Sir. Sir.

Christ, when did I turn old?

...and even I was impressed by this clip.